It’s clear people are looking for ways to protect their peace. And if the comments, DMs, and emails are any indication, they’re also looking for permission to do so.
That’s exactly why this conversation with Katrina Jones on DEI After 5 hit such a nerve. It’s one of our most-watched episodes, and it makes sense—this is the stuff so many of us have been trying to name. That quiet unraveling you feel when you’re committed to the work, but the workplace doesn’t care. That guilt for wanting to step back when the weight of everything is on your shoulders. That slow erosion of your well-being in places that claim to value you but rarely show it.
Katrina and I talked candidly about the emotional toll of toxic work environments—especially for those of us doing work that is rooted in justice, inclusion, or lived experience. There’s a unique pain that comes with trying to create change in systems that don’t want to be changed.
But here’s what we explored that I think we all need to hear:
👉🏾 Detachment isn’t indifference.
It’s not about giving up. It’s about reclaiming your energy. Katrina shared how she learned this through Al-Anon, where detachment is a practice of caring without carrying. That lesson applies to so many of us—especially those who’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we endure.
👉🏾 Boundaries are a gift to yourself.
We talked about how hard it can be to stay connected to a toxic space—even after you've technically left. Colleagues texting you with drama. Group chats that keep you emotionally tethered to that old team. Staying in those loops can reopen wounds that you’re trying to heal. Sometimes, the most radical thing you can do is say: No more. That’s not cold—it’s clarity.
👉🏾 You are not the vessel for someone else’s journey.
This one’s personal for me. As a coach and consultant, I’ve had to learn (sometimes the hard way) that I can’t want transformation more than the people I’m working with. I can offer tools. I can hold space. But I cannot carry people to their breakthrough. That’s not mine to hold. And once I accepted that? Whew. Freedom.
So what does detachment and boundary-setting actually look like in practice?
Here are a few takeaways from the episode:
Recognize your triggers. Pay attention to the situations, people, or conversations that drain you.
Name your boundaries—and honor them. It’s not just about saying what you won’t tolerate. It’s about practicing it, even when it’s hard.
Redirect energy. Not every conversation deserves your engagement. Sometimes the best move is to shift the subject or step away entirely.
Make space for joy and recovery. Whether it’s rest, creativity, or connection—whatever fuels you needs to be prioritized, not postponed.
Remember, you are not the system. Just because you see what’s broken doesn’t mean it’s yours to fix.
There’s power in choosing you. There’s freedom in saying, I can care deeply and still protect my peace.
If you’ve been wrestling with how to stay whole in environments that chip away at your spirit, I hope this episode reminds you that you’re not alone—and that you don’t have to keep sacrificing yourself to be “the strong one.”
Catch the full episode right here on Substack or where you listen to your favorite podcasts.
Let me know—what boundaries are you setting this season to protect your peace?
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